I will take Tuesday out for a nice dinner and possibly a movie.
Posted by wendy on 2011/09/13
My PET scan was all clear, which..intellectually, I was expecting it. It’s still freaking awesome to hear your doctor give you that news. I want to dance and sing and I really wish there was ice cream and cake. (although, my birthday is coming up, so I’ll have that soon enough, right?)
On a kind of serious note, I have a cyst on my left breast–it’s under some scar tissue and I’ve been kind of quietly freaking out about it for the past few weeks, even though it didn’t give me quite the same alarm bells that my tumor did. The tumor? It felt…wrong. I would touch it and feel sick deep in my stomach, because it felt like a thing that Should Not Be. The cyst? It’s a little rolly piece of fluid–like I said, it’s just under some of my scar tissue, so for a while, I couldn’t tell if it was my scar or Something Else. And, even when you feel pretty confident that it’s not THAT kind of a something, it’s still unnerving. These things niggle at your brain, you know? I showed my onc today and she wasn’t worried in the least–she feels it’s just a fluidy little cyst that’s set up at my surgery site, but just to be safe (and for my own peace of mind), I have an ultrasound on Friday. I feel better just getting a bit of confirmation from her that the likelihood of cancer setting up in my other breast at this particular stage is very, very low.
On a very momentous note, My Frenemy, The Port is COMING OUT. (where’s my Marching Band?? I need a Marching band! Oh well–let’s settle for a yee-haw!) She sees ‘no need’ for me to keep it, and she kind of echoed my sentiment that if I do need one down the road, then we can always put another one in. I see my surgeon on Tuesday to get that particular ball rolling and maaan, Tuesday cannot get here soon enough.
On a depressing note, I admit that I have a bit of a slight hope that I will be able to time all of my upcoming things–ultrasound, surgery, refills, etc to happen before the end of October. Sigh. I have been considering letting COBRA go. I realize that this is a risky thing, but something has to give, because we have to eat and when half of my monthly income is going towards an insurance payment, it’s…gah. It’s getting too hard to keep up. My new job starts in October, which means I will have some extra income coming in, but at this point…is it going to be enough? sigh. I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I’m looking at bankruptcy as a possible option and it makes me sick to my stomach that it may come to that, but it could.
“Unless you’re a Warren Buffett or Bill Gates, you’re one illness away from financial ruin in this country,” says lead author Steffie Woolhandler, M.D., of the Harvard Medical School, in Cambridge, Mass. “If an illness is long enough and expensive enough, private insurance offers very little protection against medical bankruptcy, and that’s the major finding in our study.”
Tell me about it, Steffie. yeesh.