a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

Another day, another doctor

Posted by wendy on 2010/11/19

Today at 10, I’m seeing a plastic surgeon about possible reduction during my lumpectomy.  I HATE going to the plastic surgeon.  Seriously.  I mean it’s definitely an exercise in humility to have to listen to someone discuss my (too large!) nipples and breasts in such a dismissive fashion.  I’ve lost 60 pounds this year, so I ALREADY KNOW there is an issue of sagging.  I mean, I see it every day.  Hearing someone else talk about it is hard, though.

My issues with plastic surgery are surprising me a bit.  I mean, who wouldn’t want cute perky boobs?  Apparently, not me.  I think it’s got a lot to do with my own self image.  I’ve worked hard this year for this much smaller, albeit a bit saggier, body–it’s who I am.  I mean, I look in the mirror every day and I see ME.  I like ME a lot.  I want to continue to do that, and cancer is slowly going to erode that and I’m afraid of who I’ll see in 6 months.  I want to fight to keep every inch of me that I can, so that I can at least see a small bit of ME in that future reflection.

2 Responses to “Another day, another doctor”

  1. Girl, just found your blog & am backtracking to learn your story, but have to pause to say you & I may be the only breast cancer chicks in the world who didn’t want to come out of this w huge jugs. My surgeons couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I was pretty happy w my pre-C shape. One month after reconstruction & they’ve already been talking about revisions to make ’em bigger. No thanks!

  2. wendy said

    omg–we’re soooooooulmates! Cause I just read your blog–and I loooove my port, too. Even though it’s totally skeevy and gross when I think about it. hahahaha!

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