a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

18.12.10

Posted by wendy on 2010/12/18

I lost some valuable time in the insurance game, but I plan to call JW’s corp office tomorrow and find out what my options are with Cobra.  My HR person told me I had essentially 45 days to ‘decide’, and I’m hoping that this means I can wait to pay my first payment until my severance check comes in because I am otherwise screwed, since my paycheck from the Unnamed Entertainment Company I work with is late.  Thanks for making an already really really crappy December turn into a really really shitty December, Unnamed Entertainment Company!  Merry Christmas to you, too!

I flip so easily emotionally lately.  I think a lot of it has to do with how I’m feeling physically.   The more pain I’m in the more vulnerable I feel and the more emotional I am and hey crying HURTS after surgery.  It makes sense, I suppose.  I’ve been really nauseated most of the day, so I’m also weepy.  I usually wait until I’m alone.  So far, the only person I’ve cried in front of is M.  I’ve a bit of practice doing it with him at the airport, so maybe that’s where I find the permission to let myself be a little weak.  A lot weak.  haha.  I feel like all I do is cry in front of him anymore.  He’s amazing (and hi, baby, I know you read this to keep up on me–I should just address all of this posts “Dear M”, shouldn’t I? 😀 ) and supportive and I feel like I hit the love lottery with this man.

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