a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

26.12.10

Posted by wendy on 2010/12/26

It’s nearly the end of 2011 and everyone is doing retrospectives of the past year, and I’ve been going over the last year of my life.  God, the changes.  It’s phenomenal.  In so many ways, those changes have been for the better.  I like to think that as 2010 comes to a close, M and I are closer than ever to having the life we both want.  I like that.  I like being in love with someone who shares my interests and dreams.  Well, not just ‘someone’.  With him.  I like being in love with him.  We’ve had more time together this year than we ever dreamed–thanks to an Icelandic volcano and some excellent planning and very good luck.

I vent a lot here, and I do have moments of stupid despair and anger and it’s good to vent.  Like lancing a boil (gross, but very apt analogy, I think).  It just gets the bad stuff out.   But, I look at the last year, and–barring job loss/cancer fiasco of the last few months, there have been such good things in my life this year.  I don’t want the events of the last few months to wipe that out of my memory.

Physically, today I feel better than I have yet.  (and seriously, the pain affects my mood so much–the more pain I have, the more morose I am.  ha.)  So today is a good day to write this.   I have so much ahead of me and I’m really scared about it and I feel..bah.  I can handle it.  Because I have to.

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