a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

My pearls of wisdom. Let me show you them. Oh wait. I don’t actually have any.

Posted by wendy on 2011/03/03

You know, I wish I did.  I wish there was some great epiphany that’s hit me in the past 4 months that I could share with the world.  Words of comfort for the newly diagnosed.  Funny cancer jokes.  I don’t really have any.

A great deal of that stems from the fact that I think I am actually pretty lucky.   Well, okay.  I mean, I have cancer–that’s not exactly what you’d call lucky…but.  BUT!  I am lucky in that I was diagnosed just under 4 months ago, and I am already almost halfway through chemo.  I made it through all my surgeries (the only one left will be to take my port out), I’ve got 5 more chemo treatments, then radiotherapy, and then…I’m kind of done.  So, realistically, I am lucky in that there will be less than a year of my life interrupted by cancer.  There are so many women who battle this for years and years.  Granted, it could come back and I could wind up doing a long, hard battle–but, you know…I’m not going to dwell on that.  I can’t dwell on it.  I can only deal with what I have right now.  Right now, I think I have it pretty good, all things considered*.

*Not that I don’t have plenty to complain about–and, not that there will be no whinging or complaining, because…Oh yes.  There will be loads of that in the coming months.  😉

Physically,  I am finally starting to hit my upswing again–it is taking longer this time, which I know is just a cumulative effect of the chemo.  I’ve got a severe case of ‘metal mouth’, which makes everything taste a bit..’off’.  Cold food IS much better than hot.  I loathe soda now, however, I have discovered that a cherry-limeade from Sonic is freaking AMAZING, so when I feel like having a drink with a little bit of bite, I send A to Sonic now.  My favorite meal of grilled chicken and a sweet potato is off the menu, which bums me out a bit.  I still love me some chicken (protein–I CRAVE meat lately, it’s so odd), but sweet potatoes do not appeal anymore.  Though all this, I’ve managed to maintain my weight–astounding to me when I think of all the processed food I eat now (cooking is not much fun, so I’m sticking to things I can toss into the microwave, sandwiches and salads–oh, and for some wild reason, KFC popcorn chicken and their coleslaw.  My first fast food in nearly two years.  Madness.).

I miss the gym.  A and I are currently sharing a car (which will hopefully be rectified soon), so I’m stuck at the house most of the day–good for work, bad for my psyche.  I want to do yoga in a class atmosphere again, so I look forward to being a 2-car family soon.  Although, the last time I went, the smell was seriously unpleasant.  I mean, yes, I know gyms smell like sweat–but smells are much more pungent to me now, and the stale-sweat smell that I never really noticed before assaults me the second I walk in the door now.  It doesn’t make me want to turn around and run away like a lot of perfumes do, so I’ll be thankful for that.  In the meantime, I’ve got most of my bodyflow class memorized, so I’m practicing here in the house.  Emma and Pip like it when I bring out my yoga mat.  They think it’s an excellent place to hang out and nap.  😐

2 Responses to “My pearls of wisdom. Let me show you them. Oh wait. I don’t actually have any.”

  1. you keep going girl, one cherry limeade at a time, this is sooooo the right attitude 🙂 I think I’ll go get me one today….


  2. wendy said

    I have a countdown clock on my google to my last chemo–I wish there was a way to make it “cherry limeades” instead of “days”. hehehehe. ❤

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