a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one


Posted by wendy on 2011/03/10

Today was the end of the AC treatments (Dr. Shah said today was the end of the worst of it–she seems to think I’ll power right through the Taxol.  I like that woman. ha.)!  I have 4 Taxol treatments every 2 weeks (and the Neulasta the Friday after) and then, I’m done.   She said after my 2nd Taxol treatment, she’ll send me back to the Radiologists to set up my radiotherapy, but she doesn’t expect it to start for at least a few weeks after chemo is over.

Physically–I’m super tired right now.  I slept a great deal this afternoon, and I got up a bit ago, did some work, Skyped with M, ate a hamburger (for reals–it slays me how I crave MEAT even as I’m feeling all ‘blerg’ about food.  haha) and now I’m writing this post.   I do live an exciting life, don’t I?  😉

The man who usually volunteers when I’m there was gone today and a very lovely woman who’s name escapes me was there to fetch me water and crackers.  I love how compassionate and friendly everyone at the clinic is–you really get a sense of being cared for in an ‘over and above’ sort of way.  But, I have to give this volunteer a name, because she shared momentous news with me–she just got the call today that her 5-year PET and bone scans were clear.  No more cancer.  She is officially a Survivor.   The absolute visceral reaction and emotion I felt for her kind of surprised me.   I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this kind of fierce  happiness for someone before–especially someone who is essentially a stranger.  It was an amazing and teary moment.  I was still hooked up to the Adriamycin machine, which made hugging awkward, but I could have danced around the room for her.   It’s odd to feel so protective and victorious for someone I just met, but I’m getting used to odd.  It’s nice to know that I can look forward to my own victory, but still celebrate the victories of other people with no wistfulness or envy.  (No, really–I’ll be honest, I would have expected a twinge of envy, at least–but, even sitting here, all blerg and gross–I can’t help but smile ear to ear for her.)

It does not always win.  And, my 5-year call will come.  But, frankly, I have a LOT of living to do before that happens, so I’m not going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs until it does.

2 Responses to “Halfway!”

  1. CindyBeth :) said

    her name is Wendy. 🙂

  2. wendy said

    eee. I LIKE that. ❤

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