a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

Posts Tagged ‘bone pain’

He had me at ‘donuts’.

Posted by wendy on 2011/04/17

3 years ago today, a smartass Brit and I exchanged a few cheeky messages about money and donuts.  We didn’t realize at the time, but both of our lives changed that day–in the best possible way.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about life lately–being diagnosed with cancer will do that to you (as my fellow cancerchicks well know)–and, if I have learned nothing else about myself, or about us this past year, it’s that there is nothing we cannot face, nothing we cannot do if we are together.  I found someone who looks at me today with the same love and appreciation in his eyes as he did when I had hair to my waist and a very different body than the one I have now.  He has been there for me through tears and despair and he makes me laugh and smile like no one ever has.  The caliber and depth of his core being astounds and humbles me.  My kid loves him, my dogs love him.  I love him.

Oh yeah–he somehow managed to turn me into a big schmoopy, gross GIRL.  I hope all the glitter and unicorns from the above paragraph don’t drive you guys away, cause I DO have actual cancer-related updates.  😉

I’ve had a much harder time of it without the Neulasta shot after chemo.  I’ve been really run down for the past week–although I did get good news on Thursday when I went in for my bloodwork:  my white cell count IS climbing back up on its own, so I should be able to power through the next 2 treatments with no interruption.  I am SO THANKFUL for that, because I was genuinely distressed at the idea of having to schedule my treatments out to 3 weeks apart instead of 2.  I was having all kinds of anxiety dreams about it.  I’ve looked to May 5 as my last day for so long, I don’t want that to change.  So, YAY!

Now for the BOO part of my last week–I’m officially in ‘chemopause’.  Holy crap at the hot flashes!!  I was having them very nearly every hour on the hour for around 4 days, but my onc prescribed Effexor, and it has cooled me down a bit–I only had a few yesterday.  My onc says  they’ll go away once I’m out of chemo, so I guess I’ll just dress in layers for the next 3 weeks, because–oh yeah–the clothes need to COME  OFF when they hit and I don’t want to frighten any random children at the supermarket if one hits me in the produce section.

Since my body has undergone some pretty drastic changes in the past year, I’ve become a thrifting fiend, so I want to share my latest finds.  We have some fantastic places around here:

I love this dress!!

Jonathan Saunders for Target – Buckle Ponte Dress in Eternal Flame (Thrifted – New with tags–$6 – It fits like a DREAM and it’s so completely adorable! I loveloveLOVE this dress!)
Coat – Chaus (Okay–not thrifted–I got it at Dillards for $14–they’re going out of business and I found this on the clearance rack.–it’s got a cute little ruffle feature on the back that I completely forgot to get a shot of. doh.)
Shoes -Bandolino Mary Janes – $2.88
Hair – Well, okay. That’s not thrifted, either. Paula Young dot com – The Jaclyn Smith collection. 😉

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Ms Cranky McStabbypants

Posted by wendy on 2011/04/11

I cannot decide if my least favorite side effect from the Taxol is the bone pain or the hot flashes.  Perhaps, I’d take either/or, but of course, I’m getting them both at once this weekend and it’s…oh.  Tiresome.   It’s the nature of curing cancer, I suppose.  You change meds, you trade one set of unpleasant side-effects for another set.   I will say that I’ll take the way I feel right now over nausea any day.  I mean, this sucks–but, it’s not debilitating.  (Well, a little–I mean, I’m definitely not up for running around the block, but I could take a careful stroll around the backyard if I needed to.)

I’m doing some reading on ‘chemopause’, but I think I need the M-filter to go to work on it as I keep finding ‘OMGZ IT’S FOUR YEARS LATER AND I STILL HAVE HOT FLASHES!” stories.   I like to read about the happy endings right now.  And, on the ‘happy endings’ note, I have a PSA for the general public:

If you run into me while I’m out and about, please do not approach me and then tell me about your <insert relative or friend’s name here> who fought a long, hard battle <insert lurid details of radiation burns and chemos gone wrong> with <insert type of cancer here> and died <insert the exact date and time said tragic death occurred>.  Seriously, dudes.  GIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING RIGHT NOW, M’KAY?  I’m going to be completely selfish here and say that now is not the time for me to be bonding with total strangers over their losses.  I’m going to be even more selfish and suggest that it’s not cool to remind cancer patients that they have a disease that could kill them.  Cause, we already know.  We do.  Really.  REALLY.   So, you know, the next time you walk up to a profusely sweating bald girl in the supermarket, think before you speak.  Because the hotter I get, the less likely I am to be polite about it.

PS – The hot flashes are making me stabby.  Does it show?

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