a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

Posts Tagged ‘“breast cancer”’

Hey, those fancy movin’ pictures are nifty!

Posted by wendy on 2011/10/04

Seriously, I should have prepared something instead of trying to wing it.  It’s never pretty when I try to wing it.  🙂  But, hey, that’s me up there, being my usual awkward self, trying to thank people and rambling on about hats and hair instead.  I am blessed with the best friends in the world, the best family in the world–and hey–I am also bless with meeting the best total strangers in the world.  If you’re reading this now, just feel free to assume that YOU are awesome and move forward with your life secure in that knowledge.

It’s Day 4 of the Boobiethon and they’re going strong over there–there’s a tweeting contest happening right now that you should totally try to win, and of course, they need both boys and girls to donate pictures.  My dear friend Pete is auctioning off one of his gorgeous pictures for me, and I am beyond overwhelmed by all of this.  I feel like I keep repeating the same thing over and over–thank you, thank you.  But, it is sincere and it is from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you.  Thank you to everyone who’s donated, thank you to everyone who’s passed my site along.  I feel so completely undeserving of such amazing support, and I look forward to the day that I can pay it forward.

I am so lucky.  I am.  I can never say it enough.  Thank you.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Change is inevitable. And scary. But good.

Posted by wendy on 2011/10/02

Our lives can spin out of control so quickly–and when you’re first diagnosed with cancer, the whirlwind you find yourself in does not seem to stop–ever.  I told a friend today it’s like busting through a series of brick walls.  You get through one, and there is another one standing directly in your path.  It’s the nature of it.  I’ve got this…idea of a quote I’ve read somewhere about tempering steel–and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a blacksmith banging a sword against the wall in order to make it sharper, so maybe I’m mixing up analogies.  Hang on, while I hit google,  will you?  Go get something to drink–or, if you like, go on and hit the link to the Boobiethon and peruse around for a few minutes, and I’ll meet you back here in 2 minutes!  Okay, I’m back and I found it!

The fire of adversity will melt you like butter, or temper you like steel. The choice is yours.

YAY!  I really like that quote.  Of course, in the time that I ran around google to find that quote, I also found more really cool clown make-up ideas, a recap of last Thursday’s Project Runway, and a dreamy picture that my friend Emily posted on my wall of Dylan Moran and I kind of lost the thread of this  post.  I am easily distracted by shiny things.

Now and Then

THREADS!  Yes, I know where I was going with this.  I fought so hard against the idea that cancer would change me.  I liked me!  I didn’t want me to change, to be different–I didn’t want to lose my breasts, I didn’t want to lose my hair, I didn’t want to be anything other than the girl I saw in the mirror in November of 2010.  The thing is…we all change.  I mean, that’s what life IS.  Things happen to all of us, good and bad, and we hit the brick wall or get tossed into the fire and then we come out..different.  So, maybe the ‘change’ bit is out of our control–but we can control the outcome.  Having breast cancer changed me–I mean, literally–helloooo to the Now and Then next to this paragraph.

So..yeah.  I’m different.  And, I fought so hard against it, but once I decided to accept the reality of what had happened to me, suddenly….I was okay with the changes–physical and mental.  I’m stronger and wiser and there are days that I am steel and fire and seriously, brick walls need to STEP OFF.  um…lest I give the impression of being a Super Hero here , there are also days that getting out of bed and getting dressed to leave the house feels like an insurmountable task.  But, even the ‘bad’ days and moments are tinged with this sense of being grateful to be here to experience the highs and lows of being alive.

My Aunt Puppy told me I ‘have a glow’ about me now.   I told her it was the hot flashes.  😉

It’s Day 2 of the Boobiethon, and as I mentioned, I am the Bloggers Helping Bloggers recipient this year, and I am overwhelmed and completely out of ways to show how grateful I am to everyone who has donated this year.  I have alternated between fits of weeping and elation and introspection and I feel so humbled by the outpouring of help that’s been thrown my way.  I had $2.82 in my bank account on Friday–we were drowning and you guys have thrown us a lifeline.  So, thank you.  Thank you from me, thank you from my son, thank you from Pip and thank you from Emma.

Here I am again.  Grateful to be alive to experience something beyond any expectations that I had.

Thank you so much for that.

Thank you.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

Lock your doors and hide your children!!

Posted by wendy on 2011/09/27

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES OMG!!!

I’m not going to hate on pink this October.  I know many women, many survivors and fighters dread October and I am so completely okay with anyone hating The Coming of the Pink, because I see the other side of the coin now.  I’ve had a foot in both worlds.

Please know, there are moments when I open my mailbox or try to buy a new spatula that I think I may cut some bitches over all the PINK in my life…but, I have to admit…the month of October, for all its merchandising and hype, is a really good opportunity to remind people to do self exams and schedule their mammograms.  I mean…how many of us found our lumps/were diagnosed around this time of year?  I don’t know any stats, but I’m willing to bet there are a great many women and men for whom October is The Month They Found Out.  I know it was for me.

That said, it’s once again time for the Boobiethon.  Why am I enraged  by one form of titillation, yet completely okay with another?  Oh, Dear Frantic Googler, I’m glad you asked.  I am a complex woman.  Full of mystery.  And caffeine.  And occasionally bacon.  My thoughts on the Boobiethon.  Let me show you them.

I know the history of it (which is a bit of an amusing story involving my Hot Internet Wife and very good friend, Statia).  I’ve known Mel for years and she is just awesome—because, I do have excellent taste in friends, if I do say so myself.  So, yeah–I know the women running it.  They’re awesome, they’re caring and smart.  They’ve raised nearly $75k  in the past 9 years and I hope this year turns out to be a record-breaker.

How is this different from those stupid bra memes I hate?  Because the bra memes are  coy and confusing and make no sense or reference to cancer at all.  The boobiethon talks about breast cancer.  Why are we here?  Breast. Cancer.  No one is coy about it. Men are involved, men are submitting shots–because men are affected, too.  Are men looking at the pay-per-boobie page?  Well, sure.  So are women.  Is it titillating?  Yeah, it is.  I have no issues with titillation if it reminds someone to get their mammogram scheduled.  Most of us love boobies.  I love them.  I loved mine—until they tried to kill me.  THEN I CUT THEM UP. (okay, okay–my SURGEON does the cutting)  Harrumph.  Murderous boobies get the knife in my house.

I know these women and I know that they are more than just their breasts, just as they know that I am more than just mine.

I know that “save the boobies!” tends to be the October battle cry.  But, I also know that it’s too late for so many of us to save our boobies and we had to concentrate on saving ourselves.  I would love to see ‘Save the Women’, but then that excludes men, so maybe we should concentrate on saving the people.

I would like that.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Tragics

Posted by wendy on 2011/08/31

I can barely lift my arms as I type this post (new BodyPump release–ow ow ow), but I must update, cause cool stuff is happening this week!  I saw my radiologist yesterday, and she pronounced the boobage free of any signs of fibrosis or any other hinky stuff, so I don’t have to go back for SIX MONTHS.  Can we all say YES!! together?  Cause..YES!!   There was a cute moment when the receptionist asked me if I preferred morning  or afternoon and I was all “Um…next February?  I have no idea what I’m going to be doing next February–I don’t even have a 2012 calendar yet.  hee.”

Tragic!!! Although, not so tragic that I didn't bother to put on lipstick before taking my picture.

I actually have loads of appointments to make this week.  Tomorrow, I have my baseline PET scan, then I see my oncologist on Friday.  (The camera is down at OMI, so my PET scan has been put off til Tuesday. ) I have to set up an  appointment with my gynecologist and then set up my next mammogram and it feels like a LOT of doctor-type stuff is happening, but there is a bit of comfort in knowing that the majority of what I have ahead of me is really just routine stuff.  There is a small bit of fear attached to the routine stuff now (WHATIFITCOMESBACK??) …but, I’m not going to dwell on it or let it overtake me.

I had a wonderful time away, and while I am suffering from a tiny bit of jetlag and a very large case of The Tragics (which consists of a lot of sighing and laying around looking like someone stole the stripes out of my peppermints), I’m doing pretty well.  My zenfolio subscription expires tomorrow, and I will not be renewing, (because food comes before internet toys), so I will take this time to thank everyone who bought an image from me, or passed the link along so someone else could.  Seriously, you guys helped me  more than I can say.

There is so much wrong in my life right now that the enormity of it occasionally crushes me, but there is also so much in my life that is right and good and wonderful….and I really do believe the good outweighs the bad.  It nearly always has.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

You may get whiplash from this post, because there’s a plot twist in the middle. I’ll try not to give away the ending.

Posted by wendy on 2011/08/16

My hair is about to hit that awkward "over my ears" stage that I always used to hate. I love my awkward hair.

[Wendy note:  I wrote this on the plane ride over, but the shot to the left was taken a few minutes ago with my droid–please note that I have The Pink Eye or, as I see every ailment I have postcancer, “OHMYGODITSEYECANCER!!111!!!eleventy!!”  Actually, I think I just need to take a shower and rest my tired eyes a bit, but y’all know how dramatic I can be.]

I’m typing this as I fly 23,000 feet in the air above the fine state of Tennessee—at least I think we’re still over Tennessee—we haven’t been in the air that long.

There is a part of me that feels that it’s wrong to take a trip right now—so much of my life is in flux at the moment.  I liken myself to a juggler who has at least four or five balls in the air…and I’ve walked away from all of them, mid-juggle.  But, I know that those balls will still be mid-air when I land at Heathrow, and I also know there will be an extra pair of hands to advise me and help me figure out how to stop juggling them all and perhaps lay them in a nice orderly row at my feet.  I could use that.  He is good for me in so many ways.

Since my diagnosis, there have been moments of absolute, sublime grace for me. I would not trade those moments for anything and I like to look back at how far I’ve come since I found that nasty little lump.  I wrote about my first mammogram the other day—but I just discussed the technical aspects of it.  What I didn’t mention is the way I felt sitting in the waiting room in my clean white robe listening to the other women chatting casually about their bouts with breast cancer.  I was seething with resentment and rage at the time.  I hated sitting there with those lovely women, listening to them discuss PET Scans and mammograms.  Mastectomies vs. lumpectomies.  I did not want to be a member of the cancer club.  I still remember that anger I felt towards them for being so casual about the entire thing.  What I did not know at the time was that those beautiful, wonderful women were giving me a glimpse into what acceptance and grace can do for you.  It took me a while to accept that I had cancer, it took me even longer to reach the point of…see, I want to say that I am grateful, but I don’t think that is quite the word I’m looking for.  Well, occasionally, I am grateful.  Not for cancer.  I mean, seriously—cancer can suck it.  But, I am grateful for the clarity I have gained this year.   I am grateful for the old relationships that have strengthened and for the new relationships that I have found.  For all the hardship in the past year, there has also been some amazing and wonderful things that have come from this ordeal.  I am grateful to wake up to wiggly, happy dogs.  I am grateful to see my son become more and more the man I hoped he would be.  I am grateful to be alive and sitting on this  airplane, winging my way to one of the most amazing, generous, loving (and oh, hey sexy!) men I’ve ever known.  I am grateful for my life–even the hard and nasty bits.  I am grateful to be alive.

Twist.

I am going to rant a little.  Well, I am going to rant a lot.   I’ve complained about this before on FB, but I have yet to mention it here and really ‘here’ is where I get to talk about stuff that bugs me at length.  Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am no fan of forwarded emails, and copy/paste FB statuses.  So, when the two are combined—an email forward that tells me to copy and paste something into my FB status?  Urggggh.  And, lastly, an email forward that tells me to copy and paste something into my FB status with regards to cancer?  Flames on the side of my face, people.   I mean, really.  Really.   [By the way, if you loooove facebook status memes and email forwards…you should probably stop reading now.  Go here and do a bit of light reading.  It’ll do you some good. –xo]

Here is the thing.  Just because I have had cancer, it does not make it okay to send me the ‘cancer’ forwards.  In fact, I’m going to take this one step further and say that because I have had cancer, perhaps, you should NEVER, EVER send me a cancer-related email forward again.  I hate, HATE, the “put the color of your bra as your status, but don’t tell any males what it means” or that really stupid one that tells you to mysteriously tell us where you like to put your purse. How does this raise awareness, exactly?  No, really.  Someone needs to explain that to me.  And, the Someone who tries to explain this to me should probably make sure they aren’t within my Smack Proximity.  Because it really does make my hand all itchy.  Cancer is not cute and cancer is not coy.  Teasing the boys with sexual innuendo on FB about our [Super Secret and Sexy!! Girl’s Only!!] Cancer is not ‘raising awareness’.  You wanna flirt with all the boys?  By all means, flirt with all the boys—but don’t pretend you’re raising ‘awareness for breast cancer’ when you’re doing it.  The only damn thing you’re raising  is my ire.

We raise awareness with discussion.  With action.  (For instance–Breast Cancer isn’t “Girls Only!”–boys get it, too.)  We raise awareness with….oh,  for Pete’s sake—aren’t we all pretty well aware of cancer?  I’m not so much about raising awareness as I am about finding a cure or prodding my loved ones to get checked, because I know very few people who have not been impacted by cancer personally or through a family member or friend.  And, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t know what cancer is.   I mean, is there one person out there who’s read “Blue” or “I like it on the floor by the stairs” in someone’s status only to say “Oh my GOD YOUR PURSE! I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A THING CALLED CANCER!!  I’m so glad you’re wearing a blue bra today!  I feel so aware. Where’s the donation button?!  I gotta call my doctor and schedule a mammogram RIGHT NOW!!!”??

Not that I’mma tell you not to jump on the meme train.  If that’s your thing, by all means…jump away.  But, expecting ME is jump on the meme train just because I’ve had cancer is rude.

So stop sending me that crap.  I mean it.  Stoppit.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , | 24 Comments »

(hot) Flash Dance!

Posted by wendy on 2011/07/24

Seriously.

This is how I feel at least 3 or 4 times a day.

They’re baaaaack.  With a vengeance, seriously.  It’s the tamoxifen, I know–but, I’m kind of hoping that when I call the clinic on Monday morning (First thing.  I am calling first. thing.) they’ll be all “Oh, just take an extra Effexor and they’ll clear right up!”.  A girl can dream, right?

I remember her telling me this would be a side effect, but we were hoping it wouldn’t be too bad for me since I’ve been on Effexor for a few months now. Oh, lowest possible dosage of Effexor, you are doing me no good whatsoever at the moment.  le sigh.

Of course, the entire nation is stuck in the middle of a massive heatwave–no one is happy at the moment–but, seriously, there’s nothing quite like getting a hot flash when the heat index is sitting at 110 and you’re sitting in your car and your keys are swimming around the bottom of your purse and you cannot find them and I’m not sure WHY I thought buying such a huge purse was a good idea but, I’m just going to start using a safety pin to attach my keys to my clothes all second-grade latch key kid style and God help any impressionable children who may be within earshot of me when this is happening.  (“Mommy what’s a #@$%! purse?  I’m scared!”) Hey, I was desperate, people.

Hot flashes are so hard to explain to anyone who’s never had one.  It’s this…heat that comes from inside–not the fun, sexy heat that you get when a cute boy  kisses you, but a  really uncomfortable hotness that seems to start in my stomach and spreads out from there.  The worst area for me is the back of my neck/head.  My skin gets clammy all over, my face gets all flushed and I break into a sweat on the back of my neck.  (I know–sexy!)  I feel like I’m running hotter all the time, actually.  I sweat more at the gym than I did before–an hour on the elliptical and I’m drenched in sweat now.  That’s not a complaint–I actually like to sweat at the gym.  It’s more an observation.  I’m definitely  hotter now.  In so many ways, she said flirtatiously.

I lived through the last bout with them, and I’ll live through this one–I mean, I guess, ultimately, that is the operative word, isn’t it?  I will live.  I have to remember that when I get stabby over the little things.

I had some really nice reactions to my last post and I want to thank everyone who helped and thank you to those who passed along the link.  I appreciate it so much, and I so appreciate how supportive everyone was.  Thanks for not making me feel like a…a…I don’t know what, but the big black cloud over my head is a bit lighter now.  I made 6 sales over the last two days, which is really awesome.  I will be adding more shots (and items–I’d like to offer greeting cards–although, I may have to go through cafepress to do that.  I’ll update later.)  here, so if you know of anyone who would be interested, please send them my way.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , | 14 Comments »

I’ve been dreading this post.

Posted by wendy on 2011/07/21

I really have.  As many of you know, I’m all out of miracles since I lost my job.  I’ve had a couple of people who love me a lot tell me to stick a donation button up here, because there are people who want to help, but aren’t sure how.  I am totally uncomfortable with it.  I mean, to the point that it actually makes me a little nauseated when I consider it.

So, I’ve come up with a bit of a compromise.   Hopefully a way to make a bit of extra money to pay off a few bills and not feel like a charity case.  I am not entirely without skills when it comes to photography.  So, if you’re interested in putting pretty pictures on your walls–or if you just want to help me out, please go here:  shimmyandshake.zenfolio.com and buy one of my prints.

I’m charging $15 for a  5×7 and $25 for an 8×10, which I think is, well…hopefully reasonable, as you will not only get a fabulous print, but you’ll also have an awesome story about what a fabulous philanthropist you are.  Think of the story you’ll have!  Starving artist, stricken by breast cancer, jobless!–and for the low price of $25, you helped her get back on her feet!  Granted, I have ruined the story a bit by staying alive–cause we all know art is worth more once you’re gone and not a single Junior Mint was around when I was in surgery (as far as I know)…but, tragedies are overrated, I think.  I’m working towards a happy ending here.

PS – a little c is now on Facebook!

PSS – If you don’t want to go through zenfolio and prefer to deal directly with me–or you’ve seen a shot elsewhere that you would rather have, you can contact me via email (skittishgrrl AT gmail DOT com) and we’ll work it out.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

I want to name this post “Winning!”, but I think Charlie Sheen has ruined that particular phrase for all of us.

Posted by wendy on 2011/07/18

EDITED TO ADD:  You can totally buy the print above at my Cafepress Store!

I actually hesitate to write this post while I’m still all giddy and high off endorphins, but hey, why not–it’s my blog, amiright?  😉  I had my very last radiation treatment this afternoon!  I’m done!  I’m done!  *dances the dance of being done*  I just so completely blown away that it’s over (and a bit incredulous, because–really?  It’s over?  How did that happen?).  I feel all invincible today, you know?  When I was walking out, the oncology nurse gave me a little pin that said “survivor” on it, and it made me cry a little.  It feels a bit like a cheat…like I shouldn’t wear it until my five years are up and I get my official ‘pronouncement’ of suvivorship, but you know–I DID survive.  I will survive.  (Oh wow, I just went all Gloria Gaynor on your asses, didn’t I?)  I’m in the next stage now.  I have to take tamoxifen for the next 5 years, but hey-I take a multitude of vitamins every morning, so I’m not feeling terribly put out by that anymore.  My onc wants to schedule a baseline PET scan for me next month, and then it’s just regular check-ups and keeping an eye on things.  OH!!  And, there is the removal of my Frenemy, The Port.  This baby is coming OUT, people.  Hallelujah.

So, there is a lot to talk about here and I’m just going to jump right in, as I cannot think of a witty segue-way from “YES!!  I AM DONE WITH TREAMENT!!” to “Hey, this is what a radiation rash looks like.”

Radiation Rash

I feel like I should have painted my nails before I showed you my rash. I also feel weird that I just showed you my rash.

I had zero fatigue with radiation, which is a very good thing.  And, I had no real effects from it until this past week when the rash sprang up.  It’s not painful, really–but, it DOES itch like madness.  I’m putting benadryl cream on it, and it helps a bit.  My skin is also a bit tender and pink–like a slight sunburn at the radiation spot.  It’s kind of funny to note that it is actually in a perfect little square section of my right breast.  When I saw the Dr last week, she pronounced my red, rashy skin to be “exactly what we like to see at this stage”.   She said it shows them that the radiation was actually doing its job and that I will continue to get pinker over the next week and a half, but then it will probably clear up just as quickly as it showed up.  (and seriously–this rash?  Popped up overnight–it was crazy.)  So, there you have it, Dear Frantic Googler.  That’s a radiation rash you see over to the  side of this post.   You can also see why they were at first concerned about my port getting in the way–and I really wish that I had pushed this issue–this is probably the most uncomfortable thing I have going right now–the skin over my PORT is itchy and sore and I have to put cream on it, which means I have to TOUCH MY PORT.  So, I’m both uncomfortably itchy AND skeeved out.  It just doesn’t feel fair at all.

Life is rarely fair, but it can be good.  Oh yes.  It can.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Fresh Out of Miracles

Posted by wendy on 2011/06/29

I find myself hesitant to complain here.  I’m not sure why, it’s not like I don’t enjoy a good whine, because helloooo–I totally do.  It’s just when it comes to ‘real things’, I generally try to keep a good attitude.  I find that keeping the faith, so to speak, is a good thing.  It gets me through tough times, it makes my treatment go faster–I feel better.  And..eh.  I hate whining about money.  I’ve always managed to get by somehow on my own, and for the first time in my life, I’m just…I’m hitting a wall that offers no way around, over or under.  And, hey, that’s what this blog is for, right?  Documenting how I feel and what I did.

I feel like I’ve been pulling miracles out of thin air for the past 8 months, and now…it’s just not happening.  The financial burden of cancer is such an immense and overwhelming thing (and I’m pretty sure that every cancer patient you talk to has to deal with this on some level) when you’re alone.

I lost my job around the same time this hit, and I had to pick up Cobra to keep my insurance going–I know I should feel lucky about that, and I suppose I do–except when I’m forking over that $459 check every month.  Then, I just wish I lived in one of those fabulous ‘socialist’ countries where health care is free.  I actually cannot have an objective conversation about healthcare with anyone because I am so overwhelmed by bills that I occasionally cannot breath (hello to the Xanax prescription).

So, I lost my day job, and my ‘night job’ became my full-time gig.  It felt like a Godsend, really.  Working at home when you’re having major surgery and going through chemotherapy is a very, very good thing, because even when I couldn’t get out of bed, I could pull up my laptop and work.   I’ve been working two jobs the past several months, and it’s kept us afloat, but now, thanks to the douchebag hackers at lulz, one of those jobs is in danger of going away.  I’ve grown attached to things like, oh–having a house, and eating every day.  I have no idea how I’ll keep those things up–hell, I have no idea how I’m going to keep paying COBRA every month, so how exactly do I finish my treatments if this happens?  Gah.  Whinge, whinge, whinge, panic, panic, panic.  This is totally one of those times that I would love to just pull the “but I have caaaaaaaaaaancer” card and let someone else deal with it.  Sadly, there is no one else.  Only me.

Hacking into a major corporation and shutting down its websites–an internet prank to them…a matter of life and death to some of the people affected by it.  I generally try not to wish bad things on other people, but in this case?  I really do hope that karma is a bitch.  Really.

So, today, I am not sunshine and roses.  Maybe I’ll pull a Scarlett and not think about any of this until tomorrah…at Tara, where I will,   as God is mah witness, nevah go hungry again!

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Paying it Forward

Posted by wendy on 2011/05/06

This is going to be a quickie, because my Dad came down to be with me for my last chemo, and we’re all heading out into the world to see and do stuff today.

Chemo  #8 went off without a hitch and (due to mixups and denials and then retractions of denials) today I’m off to get my neulasta shot and I don’t even think an all-caps YAY could describe how happy I am about that.  My recovery is so much faster with it.  I don’t go back to the clinic til June, which means I am doc-free until the 31 (Radiology).  Hmmm….whatever shall I do with my time?  😉

I bedazzled my head yesterday to celebrate and it was a big hit at the clinic–I lost count of the number of people who took my picture (good thing I’m not camera-shy at all, eh?).  It was a bittersweet moment when my pump started beeping for the last time, though.  This bit of my fight is over, the next one starts next month–but, I think I am through the hardest times.  That’s a good–yet, really surreal, feeling.

Shiny!

So, after the clinic, we went to my favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner, and had a really lovely meal, all chatting and with me a little bit on cloud 9, I think.  But, the most extraordinary thing happened when our bill came–we all grabbed our fortune cookies (mine was yet another what I like to call “observation cookies”, because “you are full of grace” is not a fortune, that’s just VERY VERY TRUE. ) (What?).  My Dad wanted to buy dinner, so as he was pulling out his credit card, the waitress came by and took the bill and passed Dad a handwritten note.  I’m kicking myself for not remembering the exact quote right now, but it was essentially about the healing power of God–it was just a really nice little reminder for all of us, I think.  So we all read it and smiled (because hellooo, what timing, right?), but then hit HIT US.

Whoever sent that note PAID OUR BILL.  And left.  We have no idea who it was, our waitress was all smiles and completely mysterious (I think she enjoyed the whole thing, too).  You know, it was just the perfect way to end my chemo, I think.  A random act of kindness from a stranger to all of us.  It was marvelous.

I have so many friends who are of so many different faiths–I like to joke that “all my bases are covered” when it comes to beating cancer, because I pretty much have all the major religions behind me–and a few of the non-major ones as well!  😉  I feel blessed on all levels, you know?  I have friends who pray for me, I have friends who don’t pray, but send me love and good vibes across the cosmos, I have friends who light incense for me, and yesterday, a total stranger said a prayer and bought my family lunch.  With all the horror and anger that we’re faced with in the news every day, it’s easy to forget how many amazing, wonderful people there are on this planet.  I’m going to make an effort NOT to forget that again.

My sister gave me a copy of “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra, and there is a chapter devoted to giving and receiving.  Essentially, it’s about giving everyone you meet a gift–whether it be a flower, a compliment, or a simple silent blessing or prayer that they receive happiness in their lives.  It’s my favorite chapter in the book, and I read it often.  Because every day that I wake up is a gift.  Life is about love and sharing.  And, I am alive.

Posted in a little bit of c | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »