a little c

because I refuse to give it a big one

Bridezilla With a Touch of Steinbeck

Posted by wendy on 2012/05/23

Hello world!  I’ve been off again, doing real-life things and ignoring all things c-related, but I have a super excellent excuse this time:  I’m getting married!!!  In July!!  aaaahhiiiiieeeeeee!!!  So, there’s no cancer stuff below–just girly squeeing and complaining about how expensive porta john rentals are these days.

I want to pet it and squeeze it and hug it and name it George!!

Let’s begin with the girly squeeing.  I love my ring.  I LOVE IT!  It’s unexpected and it’s unique and it’s beee-you-tiful, I tell you!  Wait, I won’t tell you–I’ll show you:    Look to your right!  No, your other right!  There you go.  Right there.   Isn’t it pretty?  Don’t you love it?  Yes!  Yes, you do.

So, as you may have guessed, I am very emotional at this time in my life.  VERY EMOTIONAL.  The word ‘bridezilla’ has been bandied about with my name (jokingly, thank goodness), but you know, it got me to thinking…WeTV has more or less ruined having the occasional (and I think very normal) bouts of The Dramas that we get when something huge is happening in our lives–like, oh…a wedding.

I’ve always maintained that the Bridezilla television show would be so much more satisfying if the horrible women who star in it got left at the alter.  I mean, I’d WATCH that show, because I love a good comeuppance.  Sadly, they do not get left, and those of us who like to see karma coming around to kick people in the shins when they deserve it are left unsatisfied.  I don’t get the women who say “I’M A BRIIIIDEZILLLA!” with such obvious glee and pride.  Are there women to aspire to be that horrendous to the people around them?  Am I supposed to be demanding and crazed and unreasonable–am I doing the bride thing incorrectly if I’m not?  There’s even a quiz on the main page of their site–I guess I need an online quiz to ascertain the level of bridal douchebaggery that lurks deep within my soul.

Aw, we’re happy.

That said, I AM in a high state of nervousness–who wouldn’t be?  But, thus far, I haven’t taken it out on any poor unsuspecting souls who cross my path.  I’m not so much a Bridezilla as I am a Lenny.  I cannot do ANYTHING.  I’m forgetful, I’m slow, I’m incapable of focusing on anything remotely difficult or intricate. I break things without meaning to.  I’m sitting around with a dopey grin on my face most of the time and not getting ANYTHING done.   Seriously, M put a ring on my hand, and I think my IQ dropped 20 points.

I may have to revisit this post in 3 weeks and see if I still feel all dopamined up and lumberingly happy.  Who knows?  My inner Bridezilla may be waiting in the wings to pounce on the first poor, unsuspecting soul who brings me red gerbera daisies with slightly browned edges.  Or, I’ll break into a stream of unbridelike expletives the next time I’m told I have to rent a porta-john for FOUR days when I actually only need it for one day.   I mean, seriously.  Four days?  Also, stop telling me I need at least 3 of them.   It’s a wedding, not Coachella.

Fancy outhouses notwithstanding, at the end of the day, I’ve decided that if M and I walk away from this shindig as a fully fledged married couple, then it’s been a success.   I could not be happier with my choice of partner.  He’s some kind of wonderful, that boy.

11 Responses to “Bridezilla With a Touch of Steinbeck”

  1. The Accidental Amazon said

    I think I’m catching some of your dopamine high!! I’m so happy for you, I don’t even know what to say. Massive hugs & jumping up and down like an idiot & I love that fabulous ring! The stone is one of my favorite colors (matches my eyes…).


  2. hush said

    Soft things!

  3. That ring is GORGEOUS!
    I’m so happy for you two. Wishing you ALL the best!

  4. Drew M said

    Just remember, at the end of the day the point is to get married, not have a wedding. My wife & I got married on a farm we rented for the weekend, had about 85 guests and spent a grand total of about $5k. And 12 years later people still tell us it was one of the best weddings they ever went too. Don’t sweat the details. Delegate. Focus on the end result. No one’s wedding was ruined because the caterer brought ecru table cloths instead of white ones. Sh*t is going to happen, just roll with it. Heck 2 hours before ours was supposed to start a window in the barn where the reception was literally just fell out of its frame and smashed onto one of the tables. I didn’t freak out, I just marshalled some friends, got the glass cleaned up & nailed the window back in, and moved on. During the (outside) ceremony my best man had to shoo off a rather large spider that was climbing up the official’s robe. We never missed a beat. Just remember that you’re about to embark on a life together with that wonderful man, and the daisies were going to wind up in a trash can anyway, regardless of how perfect their edges were when you got them. You’ve conquered way bigger things than getting married, so take a deep breath, admire the ring some more, and know that everything is going to be fine.

  5. hillary said

    yup. what Drew said. I did an entire sit down wedding for 50 for $5000 including it all. everything. All my friends and family who did the big wedding? not so much married anymore.
    All the people who eloped or did it in their jeans? Still married.
    Its about you, him, something shiny and bunch of silly puppy dog glances at one another.
    Don’t stress about any of it cause it will try to make you a ball of nerves.

  6. tam said

    Simple weddings are much better – they focus on the people you love/who love you, rather than the ridiculous pomp and circumstance of a big wedding.

    I say my wedding in Vegas and the “reception” (Shave Hoopty!), was probably the most interesting one I’d ever been to, but I’m biased. *grin*

  7. I’m thrilled for you both. And yes, the ring is fabulous. I can feel your happiness! Enjoy it and congratulations!

  8. missseaweed said

    My husband and I got married last June and spent a total of four weeks planning it. We got married on the coast of Maine where we were vacationing, and the ceremony was performed by the local mail boat captain. My “beachy wedding” dress ordered by internet didn’t arrive in time, so I was in a white tennis skort and sweater and flip flops. Flowers from the local market that day. The motel we were staying at was having their 50th anniversary party and we crashed it as our reception with whoopie pies instead of wedding cake. But you know what? You’re right. When it’s the right choice, it’s all beautiful, and the fewer the details, the more you focus on what’s really happening. I am so very happy for you both (and am coveting your ring!).

  9. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ok I’m glad that I stayed like the creepy neighbor who likes to visit but isn’t always welcome and go through your other posts.
    CONGRATS SKITS!!!…i know, i really should call you Wendy or birthday twin, but AGHHHHH! This so so so exciting. And btw, M has wonderful taste…totally totally loving the ring, and loving all these great things that are happening for you 🙂 Keeses and mwahs to both of you 🙂

  10. The ring was the first thing I noticed, even before I read a word of your post!! It’s drop-dead gorgeous, and it looks great on you!!!! I am very happy for you and your fiancé. Congratulations!!

  11. Mynx said

    Congratulations and your ring is just stunning.
    Your special day, you do it just the way you want

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